The Shed

Last time we saw the shed was back in July when it was being demolished, see The Wrecking Crew. Meanwhile the builders have been in and laid a good firm foundation for the new shed which is one of those devilish-cunning plastic kits which "just clicks together". Like a giant Airfix kit. We had a moment of horror when we examined the instructions as they said that it would take two people five hours to construct. Two people but how long for two duffers?

Anticipating minor difficulties, the General has called-in the heavy hitters: Mr BJ Holford Senior, the Handyman's Handyman. Here's "Pops" demonstrating the art of drilling holes. The General is demonstrating the art of effective supervision by standing around with his hands in his pockets, looking interested.

There are an huge number of parts which need to be identified and matched to the plans. They all have stickers with a part number and a description in fluent French. There are no building instructions in the plans, only pictures. Familiar?

This is part XYZ12345 and it's "Une longue bande sur la fin du mur au-dessous le coin". Zut alors!


You really need to get the parts ready for the next stage as you do the previous one but there is a great deal of standing around with hands in pockets. Progress is slow.

Well, this is the five hour mark so, theoretically, the shed is done. Time to down tools, get the beers out and celebrate. Cynics may remark upon a certain lack of upperworks to the shed.

The Second Day

Stung by accusations of bad planning the General assures us that he has studied the plans, is well prepared and raring to go. Here he is barking out his orders.

"Right, I'll have part numbers H2SO4, R2D2, C3PO and E=MC2 next. Step lively there, Fatboy!"

The Fatboy's on fire and has the walls up in a trice. Panel, Post, Place, Kick, Bang. Next! Bags full of enthusiasm, a lovely little mover and dead keen to get on with the job.

As we were rummaging around for parts and examining the plans for the next stage, an unfortunate gust of wind blew down the shed. Discouraged? Never!

Coming along nicely, this thing just clicks together. The walls are back up again, front windows installed and top fixings applied. All we need now are the corner bracket assemblies to brace the structure. Things are really starting to happen, the shed's taking shape.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Another unfortunate gust of wind. We could not identify the corner fixings fast enough to keep the build going. Question: Where were parts F1 and F2? Answer: They were packed in that big bag of stuff that we had not opened because we thought they were parts for the roof.

The light was fading, the wind was getting up and tempers were fraying. Six hours behind schedule, we closed down the site and went to the pub. That was the end of the second day.

We concluded that it had not all been wasted time as we had learned so much about the part number codes and plastic shed fabrication in general. There was a body of opinion contending that buying a wooden one and having it delivered would have been a better option.

To be continued...